Bassholes

What is it about bassists that makes them so impossible to deal with?

Firstly, they're a little thin on the ground. It's not as cool as playing guitar, and it's a big heavy bugger to carry around with you.

I can appreciate that, but it's a vital part of any band. They're like the glue between the tinny rythym of the drums and the mid-tones of the guitar. Without them it sounds hollow and empty. And since they're so scarce you'd think everyone would be rushing to learn because they're almost guaranteed a spot in a band. But no.

Secondly, they always want to play too much. Maybe they're making up for the fact that it's the guitarist who gets all the attention, but for some unknown reason they can't just play the line the way it should be, they have to add in 50 notes somewhere along the riff to make it complicated. More interesting to play? Definitely. But play too many notes and you end up with a song that sounds disjointed and muddy in the middle where there should be a clear differentiation between bass, guitar and vocals. Apparently the overall sound is less important than them getting to show off.

Guys, remember this - being a musician isn't about knowing the right notes to play; it's about knowing when to shut the hell up.

Thirdly (probably relating to the other points) they are notoriously unreliable. In the short time I've been rehearsing with Albany Down, we've had two bassists. One of them missed one audition, showed up for the next, got accepted and then never turned up again. The second was invited to two rehearsals and never showed up for either of them.
As I previously mentioned, they can pretty much pick up and drop bands as they choose, but why must they be so thoughtless about it. Tell us you're not interested so we can advertise again, don't just fail to show up week after week.

God damn them all.

So for the time being I'm playing bass while I sing. Not a problem since I can do that, but I don't really want to be doing it forever - I much prefer being able to move about the stage freely when I'm performing.

Come on guys, give us a break here.