People Suck - #2

It's been a while since my last post, but that's because the world has miraculously failed to piss me off for a while. And I was in America for a couple of weeks, so that probably helped too.

Now I make fun of America a lot. The "normal" people we see on TV are portrayed as stupid, and their political and judicial systems leave a lot to be desired.
However, the one thing they know better than anything else is customer service. Everywhere I've seen in the US gets a glowing repuation for customer service. They hand over your lunch with a smile, they ask if they can help you without prompting, they refill your drink every few minutes, they will pretty much fall over themselves to make your stay enjoyable and then when you're leaving they wish you a nice day.

It was certainly refreshing when compared to the UK's grumpy and miserable equivalent. The American south may have a reputation for being homophobic and racist and backward (and it may be, but I didn't see any signs), but as a straight white male I was treated like a king. Although the Scottish accent may have helped.
Even random people on the street were polite and courteous! It was great.

Which lengthy preamble brings me to the basis for this post - returning to the UK.
When we got back, we needed to go straight back out again to walk round Tesco. God that was a mistake.
Why are people so totally oblivious to the existance of anyone but themselves? Why do they park their trolleys in such a way as to block as much of the aisle as possible? It's like a bloody innate talent. Why do they insist on walking one direction while looking another, and then have a fucking cheek to scowl at you like it was YOUR fault when you walk into them? Assholes, every single one of them.

I've now taken it upon myself to be the counter to it. No longer do I gently edge my way round someone's trolley - if it's in my way I will move it. If you can't find it, that's your problem. If you ignore me when I say "excuse me", I will push you out of my way. If you park across the aisle, I will run into your trolley so it bounces painfully off your ankle. If you stand in my way looking at the selection of pasta sauces, moving backwards and forwards every time I try to pass you, I will tip the entire shelf into your basket and you can fucking well decide which you want somewhere else! Play me at that game and I will beat you.

I HATE THEM ALL SO MUCH!

And people use the word "genocide" like it's always a bad thing. If I killed every moron who pissed me off in a supermarket, would society as a whole really miss them? If that person can't traverse a supermarket without doing something stupid, what possible benefit could they provide for the world?

I say let's lose safety warnings on coffee cups:
"Contents may be hot" - MAY be? If it's not hot it's going back!

Let's get rid of allergy warnings on packets of peanuts:
"May contain nuts" - may? And what else would you expect in a bag of peanuts?

Warning signs at the sides of the road.
"Look both ways" - for what? A ton of steel coming your way at 30mph? If you can't work that out yourself, you deserve everything that happens to you.

Do matchboxes and cigarette lighters now have a warning on them that the contents are flammable? I don't think so. It's implied by the INTENDED USE OF THE GOD DAMN ITEM.

Survival of the fittest, I say. No more manipulating the world to make it easier for stupid or ignorant people. Get rid of them all, preferably in a single weekend.