Official - Americans Too Stupid To Feed Selves

We've all known for some time that our trans-Atlantic cousins have never been all that bright. How many settlers originally went over there? 100,000? And now there's almost 400 million of them. That's a lot of inbreeding, even for the southern states.

But now, thanks to this article on the BBC website, we can ignore any doubts we once had about them maybe being able to help themselves.

Not content with suing fast food companies for making them fat and cigarette companies for giving them cancer, they're now complaining that restaurants are making their dishes too appetising to have small portions. Yes, obviously the maitre d' is approaching each table, grabbing them by their big fat jowls and cramming as much garlic bread and fried chicken wings down their throats as possible, because surely...surely they couldn't be expected to show some bloody restraint themselves, could they?

And we have people complaining about the developing 'Nanny Culture'? That's because we have idiots like this complaining that just because something is there on the menu, it means they have to eat it!

I have a message for you, fat-ass: I like my portions the size they are now. Make them smaller, I'll be hungry. Do I deserve to be penalised for you being a total uncontrollable hog? Doesn't sound fair to me, perhaps I'll sue them if that happens.
And guess what else, blubber-mound: Just because a portion is on your plate doesn't mean you have to eat it all! FFS...

They're complaining that a dessert has 1380 calories, but nowhere on the menu does it have nutrition information. It's called Chris' Outrageous Chocolate Cake and can only be found at the Cheesecake Factory. The hint is somewhere in that sentence, moron! What the hell do you expect to get there? They're not advertising salad on the menu either, but do you hear anyone complaining about that? NO! Because it's a goddam cheesecake shop!

But of course that's just me. Perhaps the entire world is this stupid and I'm being punished for something hideous I did in a past life. Maybe I was Genghis Khan or something...