The new girl at our work is trying to convince everyone to stop going to KFC because of the urban legend that they use genetically modified mutant birds that have like no feet or heads or whatever. Believe that if you like, I'll accept it with a generous pinch of secret herbs and spices.
But it also made me think about the battery vs free-range chicken debate.
It's been accepted for a long time that free-range chickens live happier lives. But doesn't that make it even more cruel to suddenly and violently kill them?
"La la la," says the Free-Ranger, running around the farmyard, "I'm so happy, this place is so awesome. There's seed scattered around and I can flutter and..."
WHAP! Dead chicken. Yum.
Take the battery chicken on the other hand.
"Oh god," says the Battery, squished into a cage smaller than itself, "This sucks ass. I'm cramped and uncomfortable and my neck hurts and I wish I was dead."
WHAP! Dead chicken.
Same goes for eggs.
"Yay!" says Free-Ranger, "An egg! A family! I'll have a child which can run around by my side and we'll live happily ever after!"
WHAP! CRACK! Dead chicken with fried egg.
On the other hand...
"Oh bloody hell," says Battery, "An egg. Please don't let my child suffer the same as I have."
WHAP! CRACK! Sizzle. Mmmm, I love fried eggs.
But y'see, battery farms - making chickens dreams come true. You tell me which is more cruel!
Disclaimer: We call this "satire". If you can't take a joke, get the fuck off of my blog.
3 comments:
Just shows that free range isn't what it's cracked up to be, I was right all along! ps Just think about this for a sec, safety of a cage in a lovely warm barn VS pissin a rain + freezin to death + threat of attack fae wild animals (not forgetting the evil chickens). And don't anyone say "How would you like to be stuck in a cage? Would you not rather be free". Because plain and simply, I AM NOT A CHICKEN, and so even though i do not know what a chicken is thinking, i doubt very much that it is dreaming of being free and even if it was WHAT THE HELL WOULD A CHICKEN DO with it's freedom. pps It's not like free range chickens are free anyway and thank god for that, else we could be being ruled by evil chickens this very moment. So you just think about this, free-range=evil chickens ruling over us and that is something no-one wants. And so remember kids just say no to free-range.
What's that disclaimer thing about?
I felt I should include the disclaimer in case I got some hardcore anti-cruelty people on here giving me shit about being mean to chickens.
Although it would've given me something to write about for another post!
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